Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A sailboat

Dear Finley,
It's that time of year again.

The stores are crowded with people and when we go outside for walks we have to layer you up. Your little self is still used to Ugandan weather and so it's taking a little getting used to, this take your breath away chill in the air. I bundle you in hats and coats and kiss your freezing cold cheeks as we run our errands. Baby on my hip. Smile on my face. You make me so happy Finley. It takes a lot longer running errands with you, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Last year I remember getting ready for Christmas and having a lump in my throat the whole time. Being on the edge of tears for reasons I couldn't explain in a sentence. I would wrap a present and think of you. Make cookies and wonder where you were. What you were doing that very instant. What name we would name you when you were with us.

It was only a few days until Christmas and suddenly I realized I had to get you your first ornament. I felt like such a bad mommy that I hadn't thought of it before. Even though you wouldn't be physically with us that year, you were being carried in my heart. each. and. every. day.

And so, all of a sudden,  I threw myself into searching. It's all I could think about. I had to find you the perfect ornament. And then, finally I found it.

This year I didn't even have to think about what to get you for your first year with us. It was there in front of me, and it was perfect. A little sailboat made out of fabric for the little man who came all the way from across oceans to be with us. Our beautiful little man. Our Finley Asiimwe.

A few days ago we laid under the Christmas tree and I taught you how to stare up at the pretty lights and ornaments like me and my daddy used to do.

And even though your little, you marveled. 

You would look at the tree, look at me, and put your little finger back in your mouth, content to just stare. Pressing our heads together, we laid side by side. My arm around you. Both of us staring up. Enchanted. Enjoying the simpleness of life. We laid there until it was your bedtime and I had to pull you away. I love making memories. And even though you may be too young to remember it, that night will always be one of my favorites.

I am so thankful for you Finley and everything you bring to your daddy and my life. We couldn't ask for a better Christmas present this year then you. We love you more then you know little man and I am so so happy and honored that God chose you to be our son. You are perfect to us in every single way. 

I love you to the moon and back.