Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sign. Sealed. Delivered. You're ours.

Dear Finley,
On Monday you became official.

We've been waiting for October 3rd for what feels like years now. Waiting with bated breath until it was signed in ink. Until 10am on Monday morning your name had been Asiimwe Joseph, and then, then with a swirl of her pen the judge changed your name, and you became one hundred percent ours. Our very own, Finley Asiimwe Lane Quisenberry. An American citizen. Recognized by the government as our son.

And even though, it may have only became officially official on Monday, I want you to know my sweet little man you have been in my heart long before you were ever born. You have been my son since the second we got that email from Africa telling us we were matched with a wee little one. You had me from that very instant, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Not even for one second. I wondered what you would be like and if you would have dimples and a big belly laugh. I couldn't wait to hold you... and now that your home with us my arms still ache to hold you sometimes. Sometimes when your sleeping it's all I can do not to wake you up, cuddle you right then and there. Cover you from head to toe in kisses.

And when you wake up in the morning and I tell you I missed you while you were sleeping, I'm not making that up. I do miss you ever second I'm away from you. It's crazy and maybe a little weird, but I don't care. Some people would say I'm spoiling you. I say I'm just making up for lost time.

Your daddy and I are so in love with you Finley, and no matter where life takes you or what decisions you make in the future we will aways love you. Nothing can change that. We love you to the moon and back.

Hugs and kisses,

"I carry your heart with me, I carry you in my heart"


Friday, August 12, 2011

A year and a day

Today, running errands with mommy.

Dear sweet baby boy, 
Today marks one year and a day since getting the letter. 366 days ago Daddy and I were trying to keep ourselves occupied while we waited. It was late at night and I had that ever present knot in my stomach wondering if tonight would be the night.  I kept checking my emails over and over and over. Somehow it made me feel like it did something to refresh that little button. The word wait had been going on repeat in my head for over a year, and even though I knew it was crucial to wait for the right timing and the right baby, I was tired of waiting. Ready to have you in my arms yesterday. 

That night we knew we should be hearing back from our lawyers at anytime, and we knew they had been to Western Uganda and gotten files on two little boys, so I checked a million times a minute. Look at daddy, refresh button. Bite of popcorn, refresh. But over and over again my inbox was empty. Night after night...

and then, there was a email in my inbox. I remember being shocked. Not believing it was real.  11:25 at night. I looked at your daddy and started to cry before I could even get to reading the letter.

Tears. Joy. Tears. 

" ... the child you were given by the home is Asiimwe Joseph.  The child is a baby boy aged five months."

So many tears, so much happiness. 
My whole life changed that very moment. 
A mom and a dad with a baby boy an ocean away from us. Longing for you. 

I remember wishing for you more then I had before that night. Laying in bed and wondering what you were doing. Trying to put a face to your little name. My arms aching to hold you and my lips to kiss your sweet little cheeks. 

And now, 366 days later, I am at a loss for words. Nothing seems right as many times as I rewrite this.

Just know my sweet little man how very thankful I am to be your mommy and so happy we got you. You are perfect in every way and I can't imagine a life without you Finley Asiimwe. I love you to the moon and back little man. Happy one year and a day of being our son. 

Hugs and kisses. 


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Finn around the house



Hugs and Love!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The rocking chair

From this morning, my sweet boy.
I woke up last mothers day and daddy was all about getting me out of bed and into the living room. I wanted to roll over and sleep some more. Covers up to my chin. Watch a good movie, maybe some coffee in bed, pretty please?

When I finally meandered out, tired and needing coffee desperately, there was the most beautiful rocking chair I'd ever seen waiting for me. From daddy, for you, our future baby. The rocking chair I'd been eyeing for months. Dreaming of for countless hours. The note attached read "you're going to be a great mom." And yes, I'm pretty sure I cried when I read that.

I was happy that day with your daddy, eating a cheese picnic on the living room floor, but I was sad I was missing that day with you. I was sad because you weren't there to cuddle with us. Because I couldn't hold you. And, as much as I knew I should embrace the todays, I couldn't wait for next year.

Last year I had a rocking chair.

This year I have a baby boy to rock in it.

So thankful for you my little man. I love you to the moon and back.


* we spent today doing laundry, but we were together, which is the very best way to spend a day. *

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Half a year.

Six months. Half a year. 27 weeks. Zillions of good morning kisses. Hundreds of tears I finally got to wipe away. Two airplanes ride across oceans with you on my lap. Kissing your sweet little curls. A new country to adjust to. You in my arms. 

Six months, and one day. 

Today marks the day that we've had you one day longer then we were without you. You've been in our arms more then you were alone. You've been rocked to bed and kissed goodnight and tucked in one day longer then you weren't. And I'm so very thankful for today. I've been counting down the moments until I could say this, because for some reason, unexplanable to even myself, today was of upmost importance. It marks a milestone in your life my sweet baby boy. A milestone I am so blessed to say I got to be apart of. 

Today I have held you for six months and one day. Half a year. And I love you a zillion times more now then I did the moment I heard you were mine. How, I'm not sure, but it is the absolute, complete, truth. I love you more each second, each minute. How my heart won't burst by the time you are five I'm not sure. Your my little man, my morning sunshine, my kiss goodnight.

You are my I love you. And I'm so glad your my son.