Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dear Baby Q,

We went to Santa Barbara over the weekend to play with your Padrino Erik and Nina D, and while we were there your daddy and I bought you a beautiful fern to sit atop your dresser. It's a lovely little thing.

We've named her Lou.

I was a bit obsessed with getting you a dresser last week. It was all I could think about. So get you a dresser we did.

It's vintage and beautiful, but also way bigger then I was imagining.  We had to rearrange the furniture in our room a bit and move your rocking chair to the living room, but in the end I am very pleased with how it worked out.

The dresser has five drawers and each one is big. There is enough room for your socks and diapers and onesies in the top two drawers and the bottom three are big enough for your clothing from when you get home til your a toddler. It clean and simplistic so it's prefect for our home. Perfect for you.

And now mommy is spending all her free time folding your little shirts and pants and putting them away. Of course I still pull them out and look at them every chance I get...

... I try to imagine you in them, in our room. Cuddling with you. Rocking you. Putting you to sleep. Jumping on the bed...

{{I can't wait til your home with us. We miss you so much. }}

In other news, mommy has been searching for some cute little things for you. My current obsession? Crib sheet and bumper fabric. I'm going to have your Grandma make them for me.

Loving the lions... 

but the circus is so darling too...

I can't wait to meet you my little one. 
I think about you always.
I carry you in my heart. 


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Throw the clocks away and run into the street

Dear baby,
Today I was talking on the phone to your Mimi and Aunty Em{they're still trying to guess the name we think will be yours. Relentless.} and, as they were guessing and we were chatting about you, all of a sudden I realized what day it is.
I thought it was mid August.
Or the 20th at latest.
I still thought we had a few weeks to wait. And I was okay with that.
But no, it's the 25th of August.
Meaning in a week they will move you to your foster home...
A week baby.
A week.
..and shortly after that, we will get a picture of you, our sweet little man.
And then we'll be able to finally name you.

...And when people ask if we have children I'll be able to show off your picture.
Oh hold on while I whip out an iphone album. 
Why yes, he does have his mommy's eyes.
And I'll beam.
So proud to call you my son.
So proud to be your mommy.

I love you my sweet asiimwe. ♥


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Take all the time lost {and give it back to you}

Dear Baby Q,

It finally looks like we have found you a family to stay with when you transfer to Kampala. Mommy is thrilled. And, why yes, I did start packing a care package to send to you as soon as I heard.
I can't wait to see a photo of you. Your dark chocolate eyes.
Dimples? Perhaps.
Dying to see you in person. Heart overflowing.
Spit up. Tantrums. Sleepless nights. Dirty diapers. Terrible twos.
Bring it.

And Sister Edwina baby? She was oh so sweet and even answered a few questions about you although we had a hard time understanding each other..
We woke up at six in the morning to call her. Ry cleared his throat, and I fully sat up in bed. Covers pulled around me.
We were a bit groggy. She answered. Agreed to moving you to Kampala. With lots of mmmmm's for good measure.
I pictured an older Aunt Elizabeth in a Nun's habit. Kind eyes. Soft heart.
We asked if you were healthy and she said yes.
You were brought to the home at two weeks old.
{Which was in April? So maybe your littler then we thought.} !!
We ask if there was anything else she could tell us about you...
"What do you want to know?"
and so we ask what we are dying to know, are you happy? {not fussy vs an "easy baby" but honestly, really truly happy.}
And she giggled and said "he's a baby!" as if, duh, of course he's happy. Which makes your mommy very happy in return.
I can't help smiling about it every time I think of you. And her laugh makes me feel like you are safe and loved.
I'm dying to know if you have a head of hair or if you have dimples. I would love to meet Sister Edwina. Give her a big hug. Try and thank her.
You are happy.

I've been searching high and low for a dresser for you all this last week. I don't know why I'm so distracted by such a simple thing, but I think I'm nesting a bit. Trying to prepare for you coming home to us. I think that I think {in my sub conscious of course} if we get your little space ready you'll come home that much sooner.
I know it's not true but it makes me feel calmer planning.
And I'm crossing my fingers in may work.
{plus, washing and folding your little clothes? Dying to start.}

I love you. I can't wait to hold you.


Monday, August 16, 2010

I don't know what day it is. I had to check the paper.

Dear Baby,
I'm buying minutes on Skype right now. In about an hour we're going to call Ilbanda and Sister Edwina. She's your nurse and we must ask permission to transfer you to a new home in Kampala so you are that much closer to coming home to us. We're a bit nervous about calling her. The language barrier is one thing, but also, she knows you. All day long I've been wondering if it will be an abrupt phone call. Or will she tell us a bit about you?  I can only hope.
I'm dying to know more about you. To know you have a son, but know very little about him is a strange feeling.  It makes me sad.
I'm dying to see your little face.  To know whether you are a happy baby. If your healthy. To name you.

I bought you your first pair of shoes today. Okay, to be honest, I bought you your first two paris of shoes. What can I say? They were darling and I couldn't help myself.
I love you baby.  And your going to look oh so cute in your new shoes.
Love your mommy

                                                                      Your new shoes

Thursday, August 12, 2010

"All this time we were waiting for each other, all this time I was waiting for you.."

It's a boy. 
He is five months old.  
And his given name {from the orphanage} is Asiimwe Joseph. 

My dear sweet baby boy,

As your sleeping, across the ocean, do you know how much your loved right now? 
Can you feel it from that far away?
I so badly hope with all my heart that last night someone whispered in your little ear and told you that you had a family.
 That you can feel the difference in your heart too.
Your daddy and I are no longer two, but three. And we, my son are a family. 

Do you understand how many people are dying to meet you? It's so crazy to me the emails and letters and calls pouring in today. Family and friends and even perfect strangers sharing in our celebration day. Crying with us. The happiness. The oh-my-goodness-when-do-you-get-to-go-get-him?
They're as anxious as we are.
And we haven't even been granted our adoption yet or met you or seen a picture ...
Can you imagine the party that we'll throw when your finally here in our arms?
There are so so many people who are out there praying and wishing you home with us.
And it's a bit overwhelming to feel so much love. But we are so very thankful for it. 

We took pictures last night after we found out you were ours.
They are terrible pictures.
Our eyes are closed, and I'm in pajama's.
But we're beaming.
And crying.
And happy. So very very happy.

One of the biggest questions we've been asked is if we have a picture of you yet... and while we have yet to see your little face, there is no denying you are the one we have been waiting for.

Your given middle name is your daddy's middle name. And your first name? It means thanks to God. So appropriate I couldn't help but cry when I heard the translation.

..I can't believe this whole time I was waiting for you, anxious to get you home, and you weren't even born yet.
When I bought you lots of Christmas ornaments last year because you had to have one for every year, I only had to buy one in reality...
..what will I do with all the others I wonder?

I can't believe you will be so little.
You will spend your first Christmas with us.
How is that even possible?
I will get to see your first step. So many milestones I was prepared to miss.
But I get to be there now. Holding your hand along the way. 

Last night after our family calls had been made, daddy and I couldn't go to bed yet. We were to excited. To anxious and nervous. To many thoughts running through our head.
We kept looking at each other, getting a half crazy grin and whispering over and over.
"We have a baby. Your a dad. I'm a mom. We. have. a. baby!"

And so we bought you your first {two} we-just-found-out-your-our-son presents. They're rather darling and I've been dying to buy both but was waiting until I knew you for sure were a he...

I love you my sweet little man. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet head.

Sweet dreams.

Your Mommy


It's a boy.
Happy dance around our house.
Late night phone calls to those we love. Not caring if their sleeping.
It's the night we have been waiting for for 10 months.
Pop that champagne!
Can't stop smiling.
We have a baby!!!!!!

And, it's a boy.

I'm a mommy. He's a daddy. And we are now a family.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Waiting was never my strong point

Dear Baby,

It's about time. That's all I'm sayin'.

I miss you. I love you. I can't wait to meet you.