Tuesday, September 14, 2010

We’ll fly to distant clouds where it’s just you and me

Dear Baby, 
Are you ready my little man? Is there a ladybug on your shoulder? Can you feel the change about to happen as you are fed and dressed for the day? Are the birds singing differently this morning? Is the sun a bit brighter? Is there a chill in the air?

Oh how I wish I could be there.

I imagine that the Sister's are telling you they'll miss your belly laugh and whispering goodbyes into your ears. After all, you are the most handsomest baby they've ever laid eyes on. Of this I am sure.  And I am even more certain they will be a sad that you are leaving, sweet little Joseph Asiimwe. Thanks to God. They will hold you a bit tighter before they lay you back down and give you an extra kiss. 

It is a bittersweet day for all of us

Of this I am also sure. 

Today a car will be arriving at your orphanage. It will probably be dusty from it's long journey, and there will most defiantly be a commotion as they gather you up, wrapping you in blankets as you are brought outside.  And then dear Asiimwe, then you will be handed to the gentlest of mans, and he will smile at you and make sure you are set to leave. He will make you take a photo with Sister Edwina for me if she will have it. I ask him to take a few photos just in case we don't get there. I want you to know where you came from and the faces of the ladies who loved you before we could. {although, truth be told we were loving you from way before you were ever even born. 

But still. 
Still. } 

Where was I? Oh yes, after the pictures you will load into a car and you will travel for a very long time. You will probably be a little sad to be leaving sweet Sister Edwina and the only home you have known. I am sure that you will miss her and your poor little heart will probably ache and you won't know what's happened to you.... so, while you travel I want you to know sweet little baby that your mommy is praying for you. Wishing I could be there and help ease the hurt you are feeling. 

I highly doubt I will sleep a wink all night long wondering how you are doing with the move. 

I hope, even though you are little, somewhere in your heart that you know there is a good reason for the transfer. I don't want you to be scared for even a moment and it's killing me that I can't be there to hold you and cuddle you on the trip to Kampala. You'll see soon that everything happens for a reason. You journey will take you to be with your foster family and there you will live in their little home waiting for us to come and get you. This little trip is making your daddy and I one step closer to Uganda. One step closer to you. 

Hugging you. 
Kissing you. 
Loving you. 

Be brave little man. I love you bunches.

You have my heart. 
Mommy 

8 comments:

Corrie said...

Oh Abi, your writings to your little man get me every time. I have been praying every night that God would watch over your little man and make the process smooth so that you can have him in your arms as soon as God deems possible.

love said...

oh, abi...i will pray for his little heart, too. for peace. that he just knows.

one step closer.

chantel said...

hey abi. my name is chantel. i saw you on richelle dante's facebook and a friend of mine sent me your blog link. i am also an adoptive mom. my son is 3 and african american. i know it's different 'cause he's not african but if you ever want to talk transracial adoption...or just adoption in general let me know! adoption is my favorite subject and i'm very active at my adoption agency doing advocacy. anyways nice to meet you. i wish i'd written notes to my boy before he was mine! very beautiful! ~chantel seantochantel@yahoo.com

The Raudenbush Family said...

I love the letters you write to your little man. So beautiful, so engaging.

Please consider letting us repost one on www.wearegraftedin.com. Let me know what you think.
Kelly@wearegraftedin.com

Carmen said...

Also praying here for your little man to be loved and protected until you are able to. I prayed that for my little girl before she was even born in China and my prayers were answered.

scrappy quilter said...

Everytime I read one of your posts I end up in tears. I just read your mom's post and then came directly here. Love your little man's name. Can't wait to see a picture of him.

Ellie said...

I'm praying too -

how your heart must ache.

xo ellie

Cameron and Megan said...

praying for your little man.