Saturday, November 13, 2010

Torn as I could be...

As we walk towards the plane, I am struck with a thought.
Remember this moment. 
And for a second I am torn. My heart feels like it is ripping.
We are leaving Africa.
I search the horizon.
I take deep breaths of the Ugandan air. Breathing it in.
I try to understand what this moment means to my son.
We are leaving his country, taking him to his new home.
I start to get choked up.
Blinking back tears.
Heart in my throat.
We are going home. 
I want to give hugs to the ticket agents. The flight attendants. The pilot.
Anyone and everyone involved with getting us on that plane.
We are going home.
Home to the US.
Home to daddy.
I don't think it's possible to feel as many emotions that I am feeling right now...
as I climb the steps I am trying to memorizing the feelings I am feeling.
Trying to remember this moment for my son who won't be able to remember it.
The happiness. The fears.
Clutching him to me as I step on to the platform. I look one more time over my shoulder.
and I whisper goodbye to the night.


Scrappy quilter said...

You have me in tears as I read these posts. Beautiful and heart wrenching all at the same time. Any pictures yet?

sarah said...

I have followed your blog for some time now, LONG before your adoption. My love of photography brought me to you. I also long to adopt or foster. Reading this post today I was just so moved. Thank you for sharing your journey & your heart. You are not only a beautiful photographer you write beautifuly as well. God bless you & husband man for your kind hearts.